Maynnaise tastes better with her

Right now I have a mosquito bite on my left elbow
It itches


Before you let your eyes wander any further
Don’t think for ONE second
That this is some sort of a
“Confession of my undying love”
Type story
Don’t think this is a
“I sit alone and write your first name with my last name attached at
the end”
Type story
Because that’s soooo 8th grade and
Besides, this is more of a
3rd grade type love story
The type of love that bites you in your ass at your
10 year High school Reunion
Type story
The love where instead of telling you the truth and possibly spoiling
the moment I’ll probably just put you in some sort of
Headlock and Tell you to tap my arm when it hurts
By third grade I mean I don't remember anyone from my third grade
Class and I don't expect you to remember this either
Don’t think I’m pulling the “win you over with words” card either
Because:
ONE: I don’t even have a deck of cards, so even if I wanted to pull a
card…I don’t have any
TWO: Cards are used to play tricks on people
THREE: Only reinforcing some sort of weird us/them dichotomy that
I don’t wanna go into detail about right now so stop fucking looking
at me that way people
FOUR: I don’t even know if there’s such thing as a “win you over
with words” card because during my limited yet well documented
use of cards, well, I’ve never seen one…but, if that card DOES in fact
exist and it was within a reasonable distance from me and I didn’t
have to exercise or break a sweat getting it out…I am still not
pulling that card
OK..That was a very long slash unnecessary explanation of the
whole, “me not pulling a card” Line, But, Either way, You get the
fucking point…I’m not pulling a card

Sometimes I just feel things
And the only way to get those feelings to collapse is to put them
down in words
That’s how my life works
If I can’t stop thinking about something
I write it down and usually before I’m even done writing
I’m over it
Don’t think I’m writing this to get over you cuz, well
I’ve never been under you
I do, however, want you to know
That sometimes I can’t help but notice how flawlessly we fit
Together how perfectly imperfect this love can be
Like the guy who dabs his pizza with a napkin
Not because he knows the nutritional value
But because the girl he can’t stop thinking about
Used to do that I know how fucking cute you are when
I see you’re embarrassed and how I’ll continue to embarrass you
from then on…unless of course you don’t want me to cuz honestly,
you’re the boss you'll tell me you're in love with my mind and how
that’s worth writing home about you will say,
“Don’t fall in love with me!!!! IF YOU DO…I like Tiffany's”
I’ll reply,
“You don’t fall in love with me, but if you do…I like Mayonnaise”
I’ll give you a wink and a point and
We’ll laugh and for a brief moment
Escaping the boundaries of an otherwise
Uneventful day of
Discovering new friends who only assist us in
Not telling each other how we really feel
So feel me when I say this
I need you…
A
L
L
And next time you see me scratching my left elbow just know this…I’m thinking of YOU…